Objectification of women is a recurring theme of feminist discourse. The basic idea is that women are objectified when they are viewed or treated primarily as objects rather than as human beings, whether this is through pornography, modern advertising, or direct interpersonal interactions (cat-calling, ogling, groping, etc). Objectification is a form of dehumanization that can […]

via Objectification, Dehumanization, Pornography — Sweet Talk

Gone Too Soon

He cried over the phone because he took a bullet for my baby. He was supposed to make it to the hospital. The hospital never saw his beating heart. Dead at 17.

I don’t need to know who this young man is to know that he was close to my boyfriend. My boyfriend does not cry when things happen. Whether it be his mom yelling in his face or many other struggles, he still does not shed a tear. Yet this young man made my boyfriend sob.

“He wasn’t even supposed to be there. If I hadn’t of turned my back to make a couple hundred more. His death is on me.” These are the words that are embedded into my memory. His heart breaking is carved in my skull. I listened as he became a little boy who just needs someone to hold him as he cries on your shoulder. He walks the halls trying his hardest not to burst into tears. I want to help my baby heal, but this is something he must do on his own.

I don’t like being here not being able to help pick him up and carry him. All I can do is walk by his side as he zones in and out of awareness, as I hold his hand and tell him he will make it through all of this and no matter what happens that I will be here when he needs to fall.

I promised I won’t leave his side unless he asks me to. His eyes are red from light feathered tears. His shoulders slumped unsure whether to carry this weight on his shoulders or let it bring him through the ground. His heart heavy with a guilt of it being his fault and me telling him it was his decision to go with you passing directly through one ear and out the other.

My deepest apologies to this young man’s family. Your boy was a dear friend of my boyfriend and he will always be remembered.

RIP-04/09/2016

Piercing Sounds

When all you wanna do is cry because you don’t know how your day could get any worse. When all you want is to end the week with the person you love. All until you realize that life doesn’t work out the way you want it to. Life only wants to screw you over and its taking ever amount of energy just to smile at your boyfriend because you are trying not to cry in front of him. When your life gets turned upside down within a matter of minutes.

When you start to fall and you cant seem to get back up from falling. All I want is a fucking normal life but how is that possible when your parents fucking tie you down. I am so tired of trying to come out of depression only for life to trip me and pull me back into that stage by my feet.

Fuck this, I’m out.

brandon cole…

My love. My life.

I want that life. I want that baby girl named Jade. I want that baby boy named brandon cole. I want our baby to be a daddy’s girl or a momma’s boy. I want to walk into our house and see my husband and my child playing together. I want that life.

He puts theses ideas in my head. He pushes thoughts of us getting married and every time I see that cute face I fall in love with him. I rarely call him sexy because I don’t see him as that… I see him as so much more. I can honestly say with no doubt in my mind that if he asked me to marry him right now, at this very moment, all I would be able to do is cry and say yes. We would get married after graduation and start building that life we both want together.

Reading what he wrote the day he thought that I had cheated on him killed me. It took everything I had inside of me not to cry in front of him as he called my name laying next to me.  Yet I sat on the bed reading about how I broke my baby’s heart. I still don’t forgive myself for making him even think I would cheat. I have never cheated on anyone and I will never cheat. And I will spend the rest of my life making it up to him. I can’t unsee the look on his face.

I love brandon more than anyone in the world. I love him more than I love myself. He calls me beautiful, but I feel like he deserves so much more and so much better than me. He deserves the world so why does he want me? I will do everything to make him feel loved like he deserves to be. He deserves so much more than I will ever be able to give him. But he swears he wants to be with me.

This man is the only one who has ever been able to pull me out of a depression state. I am going to marry him. He will be my children’s father. The way he looks at me makes me feel like he loves the real me. Not who everyone thinks I am or should be. I used to be a whore. I used to be a slut. But with him all I need to be is his. He’s happy and so am I. I am in love with brandon and no one will ever be able to change the way I feel about this man. All hell will break loose before I change the way I feel about him.

He means everything to me and even just thinking about going a day without seeing him or hearing his voice makes me want to cry. Everything about him makes me fall in love with him. I don’t need sex to be happy with him. Just laying with him makes me 100% happy. All I need is him. That is all I need forever. If I was given the choice to either have anything I could want in the world but not brandon or to live with brandon and only bring in enough money to barely get by… I would choose to be with brandon. Seeing his face makes my day.

Every now and then I get depressed because I am scared as hell that something will happen and he will leave me. He is the light of my day. I love him to the end of the road and back. He talks about our future like he literally wants it. I will give brandon anything he asks for, wants, or needs. He deserves the world. I can’t explain even explain a little bit how happy I am or how much I love this man. He told aaron that I was beautiful inside and out… not sexy or hott… beautiful.

He is my oxygen. He is my heartbeat.Without him I am nevermore. But with I am with him I know I am loved. There is no place i’d rather be than within his reach.

~~~~~to the end of the road and back~~~~~

-A